My Presidential Wish List

 2012 is a momentous year for me for several reasons, I am graduating from college, the world could end on my birthday and for the first time ever I am able to vote for a Presidential election. In 2008 I was still too young to cast my vote, but this year I finally can. I have followed this campaign season since Michele Bachman was a....um.... candidate for President (I'm fairly certain that if she was indeed elected President the the world would end on December 21st). I watched Republican Debate after Republican Debate to inform myself on every possible candidate, oh and because they were the best examples of unintentional comedy in 2012. After watching the debates and the heated campaign season I found myself hoping that the Tea Party would become so frustrated with Mitt Romney that they would break off and have a Paul/Perry ticket for 2012 (Actually a Santorum/Perry, Bachman/Perry or really anyone with Rick Perry would have been comedic gold. I really miss good ole' Rick right about now, there is not a single funnier YouTube video). My dream election scenario is Obama running for the Democrats, Romney running for the Republicans, a Paul/Perry ticket for the Tea Party (or if the State of Texas decides to secede then this would be a hilarious pairing to run the government), Donald Trump running as an Independent, and Vermin Supreme just running. This would be perfect for a couple reasons,

     1) Hofstra University, which I attend, will be hosting the Presidential Debate once again. There is no way that they wouldn't invite at least Obama, Romney, Paul and Trump to the debate (actually knowing Hofstra they probably wouldn't invite them all just to spite me). Just think about how great that debate would actually be, I'm fairly certain that the Secret Service would have to drag me out from laughing too loud the entire time.

     2) I am still undecided on who I would vote for so the variety of opinions could help me make up my mind. It would also be awesome to see Ron Paul and Vermin Supreme just be in the same room together, add in Trump's hair and I cannot think of a greater representation of the state of American politics.

Unfortunately for Jon Stewart and myself this "dream" scenario will not play out. The only two real options are Mitt Romney or Barack Obama, neither of which screams confidence to me. This election is like deciding whether to drink a glass of water from a plastic cup or to drink a glass of water from a glass cup, they may be look different but they are more or less the same. So out of sheer, well boredom, I compiled a very short "wish list" for the Presidential Candidates. Over the next several months I will become more and more vocal about the election, but here are a couple key points that I want each candidate to address.

 My 2012 Wish List For the President of the United States-

     1) I want both candidates to officially come out against Super Pacs-
 Super Pacs do nothing but spew propaganda designed to confuse and scare voters. They are nothing more than cheap (morally speaking not money wise) tricks that are helping to further tear this country apart. If either candidate has any shred of decency then they would try to put a stop to this strange and unfortunate crime against democracy.

     2) I want both candidates to stop blaming the other side of the political spectrum for everything- A week ago I was driving and trying to find a radio station with decent music, which is an impossible task sometimes, but I happened to stumble upon Rush Limbaugh's radio show. Now I have never listened in to Rush, but I had a vague idea of what his show was like. Much to my horror Rush was preaching against uniting both sides and instead was demanding that the liberals must be stopped. What kind of message is this? I am pretty sure that if George Washington heard this he would arise from the grave as a zombie and destroy Rush Limbaugh once and for all. In Washington's fair well speech he even says that,

"There is an opinion that parties in free countries are useful checks upon the administration of the government and serve to keep alive the spirit of liberty. This within certain limits is probably true; and in governments of a monarchical cast, patriotism may look with indulgence, if not with favor, upon the spirit of party. But in those of the popular character, in governments purely elective, it is a spirit not to be encouraged. From their natural tendency, it is certain there will always be enough of that spirit for every salutary purpose. And there being constant danger of excess, the effort ought to be by force of public opinion, to mitigate and assuage it. A fire not to be quenched, it demands a uniform vigilance to prevent its bursting into a flame, lest, instead of warming, it should consume."

The only way that this country can survive is if we are united. I mean for god sakes the word united is the very first word in our country's name. If we continue down this path of finger pointing and demonizing the other side then we won't have to worry about the fate of the United States anymore, because it will perish from this Earth.

3) I want Mitt Romney to stop trying to act like a normal American- Mitt can we have some one on one time for a second. I know that you are trying to connect with the American public by acting like you know how hard their life is, but lets face it, you don't know. Mitt this isn't a bad thing, I don't want a President who is an Average Joe, I know many Average Joe's and while they are nice guys I don't want them to run this country. You made a lot of  money and were very successful in your professional life, stop hiding from this, embrace your success. I want you to come out and say that you're ambitious and that ambition propelled you into a life of Excellency, I want you to embrace the fact that you are smarter, wealthier and more ambitious than most of the people in this country.

4) I want Barack Obama to be a strong, passionate leader all the time, not just during election season- President Obama has great orator skills, which he shows often. During campaigns he is strong and fiery, but during his Presidency he was often timid. Even when Obama came out in support of gay marriage he only did it because Joe Biden forced his hand. Be strong Mr. President, but more than anything be brave enough to stand up for what you believe in all of the time.

5) My final wish is for whoever is elected, whether President Obama or Mr. Romney, to be able to stand up for their beliefs. I understand that the constant media assault has rendered most speeches and answers to questions timid and safe, but I am sick of it. I am sick and tired of listening to safe answers that will keep one safe from the media barrage. I want a President who is willing to stand up and go against the tide. I want a fearless leader who doesn't care if he pisses people off, in fact I encourage the President to make people angry. Make unpopular decisions, don't go with the flow. The most important issues in life are often times the ones that are the most controversial so go please take a stance on an issue. I want a President to march into Congress, lock the doors and tell the weasels that we elected that they aren't leaving until they get something done. I want a President who will push his issues through even if Congress has a fit. I want a President who will take charge, take the flashlight and lead us out of the cave of dissension and despair that we have fallen into. Whether this President is Democrat, Republican, Independent or Vermin Supreme I just want a leader of men not a spineless talking head.

The Miami Heat Free Throw Conundrum

Last nights Heat vs Celtics game was, quite simply put, a game for the ages. Last nights game, like many classic games, seemed to be played in different acts. In Act 1 the Celtics jumped out to an early lead, snatching the momentum away from the Heat. Act 2 featured the Heat storming back, eventually taking the lead heading into the 4th quarter, however, like most great dramas the ending was far from over. The Celtics clawed their way back in Act 3 to tie the game and force overtime. In Act 4 (overtime) the Heat proved to be too much for the Celtics and took a 2-0 series lead. In a game that should be remembered for Rajon Rondo's inspiring play or Lebron James' brilliance all people could talk about was the officiating, much like in Game 1 in which the Celtics were called for 5 technical fouls. A look at the great Bill Simmons's twitter page shows that most of the recent tweets consist of him attacking the officiating, particularly the free throw discrepancies. Last night Miami attempted a staggering 47 FT's to Boston's 29, Boston also had 15 more fouls called on them. The biggest call of the night was actually a no call as Rondo was hit in the face on a drive to the basket. The miss, coupled with Rondo laying on the floor, allowed Miami to go 5-4 on the other end which resulted in a dunk by Udonis Haslem to give the Heat a 2 point lead. In a night where the entire Twittersphere theorized on how the NBA is "rigged" this game only seemed to add fuel to the fire. This got me thinking whether or not Miami actually benefits more from officiated in the playoffs than the remaining teams?

So, because I had nothing at all to do today, I went through every boxscore for the remaining teams playoff games and calculated (well Excel calculated) their FT attempts, opponent FT attempts, foul against and opponents fouls. After gathering the data I then compared each of the remaining teams, Miami, Boston, San Antonio, Oklahoma City, and saw that Miami had the largest FT differential by far.

In Round 1 agains't the New York Knicks the Heat attempted 30.2 FT's a game compared to the Knicks 21.8 FT's per game, this differential of 8.4 FT would be substantially higher then the largest FT differential during the regular season (being the Nuggets with 6.2 per game). At first glance this seems to make sense, the Heat have players who attack the basket while the Knicks are often content with shooting jumpers. However, the Heat averaged 36.4 points in the paint during the series and the Knicks averaged 33.6 points in the paint. In Game 1 of the series where Miami had 33 FT attempts (with the Knicks having 11) New York actually scored more points in the paint than Miami (28 to 26). Now this is is no way why the Knicks lost the series, the Heat were by far the better team, but it is interesting to note the rather larger FT differential.

In Round 2 against the Pacers the FT differential shrunk dramatically to 2.17 (27 FT's per game for Miami and 24.8 FT per game for Indiana) which was more on par with Miami's regular season differential of 2.1. Overall in the postseason, including the first two games of the Conference Finals, Miami has a FT differential of 6.85 FT per game, which would have been the highest in the regular season. The next highest in the playoffs of the remaining teams is San Antonio with a differential of .333 FT attempts per game. In fact Boston and OKC have negative FT differential, with -2.76 and -.55 respectively. San Antonio and Oklahoma City have seen their FT differential decrease from the regular season while Boston has seen it increased by a paltry .14 attempts. Miami is the only team to see a substantial rise in FT differential with a 4.75 FT attempt increase.

A common argument is that Miami simply drives to the paint more than the remaining teams, shots within the paint are more likely to draw contact and thus lead to the increase in FT attempts. At first glance it would seem that this argument is true, of the remaining teams Miami had the third worst 3 point FG% (1 percentage point above the Thunder) and shot the third fewest 3's (.6 more than Boston). Miami is a team that relies on dribble penetration and attacking the basket in order to score. Yet, with this being said, Miami scored  fewer points in the paint than the Spurs and have scored just a little more than the Thunder. The Spurs average 47.5 points in the paint while Miami averages 40.7 points in the paint (OKC has averaged 37.4). Yet, despite this differential, the Spurs averaged 22.5 FT attempts in the first two rounds and through Game 2 of the Western Conference Finals they have averaged 30 FT attempts which is still below Miami's 35 FT in the Eastern Conference Finals. Oklahoma City has averaged 23.75 FT attempts in the first two rounds and 29.5 FT attempts in the Conference finals, this is considerably lower than Miami's FT attempts in the playoffs. Boston, while having much fewer points in the paint, has averaged 20.9 FT attempts per game.

Miami is the only team of the four remaining to never attempt fewer than 18 free throws a game, every other team has gone below this mark at some point. Miami is also the only team to not have a negative FT differential in any round of the playoffs, the Spurs had one in the first round, the Celtics had one in the second round and the Thunder have had a negative differential throughout the playoffs. Miami also draws more fouls than any of the remaining teams. Miami draws an average of 24.9 fouls a game compared to 22.5 for the Spurs, 19.4 for the Celtics and 21.3 for the Thunder.

Blaming the officials is one of the easiest cop outs in sports, however, there is some merit to the claims that Miami receives favorable calls. Miami has been attempting the most free throws per game and also have drawn the most fouls called. Now this isn't a sign of a conspiracy by the league to let Miami win, but it is a trend that deserves to be monitored. Free throws are called free for a reason, they are an easy and integral way that teams can build leads or comeback. If Miami continues to enjoy the large FT and foul differential then they will continue to be a near impossible matchup in the playoffs.

Doomsday Scenario for the Yankees

Let me start off this blog with an OH MY GOD MARIANO CANNOT BE HURT. DEAR GOD WHY WOULD THIS HAPPEN. TAKE ANYBODY, TAKE GARCIA HE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING. TAKE ME, JUST FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY DON'T TAKE MARIANO.

I'm glad that's off my chest, let's proceed.

Losing Mariano Rivera is the absolute worst injury that the Yankees could endure. Losing any hitter in the Yankees lineup would hurt, but the Yankees have a deep enough bench and a deep enough wallet to be able to find a suitable replacement. Eduardo Nunez could replace Jeter, A-Rod and even Cano or Swisher if the Yankees were ever in that situation. Granderson would be the trickiest position to fill because the Yankees don't have anyone on their roster, who is healthy, that could play center, but they would manage.

Any starting pitcher, outside of Sabathia, would be relatively easy to fill, especially because no one has really stepped up. Ivan Nova has finally lost a start, Phil Hughes is proving that his 2010 18 win campaign was a fluke and Hiroki Kuroda is still trying to figure out a new league. CC would obviously be an awful situation, but not an impossible situation. While he has been one of the leagues most reliable pitchers the last three years (pitching 230 plus innings while never having a FIP above 3.54) he is not indispensable. The 2004 Yankees made it to the ALCS with a starting rotation without a 15 game winner or a pitcher with an ERA under 4.00. (Granted this cost the Yankees a World Series trip and probably another... you know what lets just leave that series alone... forever). If Sabathia went down the Yankees could call up a post retirement Andy Pettitte to see what he has or even Manuel Banuelos and have a patchwork rotation.

All of these scenarios would significantly impact the Yankees chances of first off making the playoffs and second off winning another world series, but they aren't nearly as bad as losing Mo. With no offense to Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera was the most important and best member of the core four. The Yankees would have never won five World Series titles with anyone else at closer. It has been written a million times, but Rivera's post seasons numbers are just off the charts.

In the five years that the Yankees won a World Series with the core four Mariano posted FIP's of 2.82 (1996), 1.94 (1998), 1.92 (1999), 3.07 (2000) and 2.28 (2009). In his playoff career Rivera has a 2.23 FIP (that includes a FIP of 8.61 in 1997), a .13 HR/9 ( he has only allowed 2 career playoff homeruns that's incredible), and a K/BB of 5.24. Check out this graph comparing him to Trevor Hoffman and Dennis Eckersley, Rivera destroys them, those graphs are only for the regular season they would even more astounding if they were for the post season. David Robertson will replace Rivera if the injury is serious and would probably do a very good job. In fact the Yankees should shut Rivera down until September, they can manage a regular season without him that is doable. However, if the Yankees want to add another World Series pennant then they need a healthy Rivera plain and simple.

Little Aziz Ansari?

Sorry that I haven't posting anything lately (I'm incredibly lazy), but I saw this photo and needed to share it with the world. This is apparently Aditya Dev, the worlds smallest bodybuilder, who is 2'9 and weighs 20 pounds.

Now this is Aziz Ansari of Parks & Recreation fame. Is this the same person, why don't you decide for yourself.

How the History Channel Lost Its Way

Turn on the TV right now. Close the computer, stop whatever you are doing and go to the History Channel (if you don't have the History Channel then just keep reading). Chances are if you did happen to turn on the History Channel than you are watching Swamp People or Monster Quest. Maybe if you are really lucky Ancient Aliens will be on. In fact here is a schedule of the History Channel's fine programming, one that is filled with intellectually stimulating shows such as Axe-Men or Full Metal Jousting. These days it seems that the History Channel isn't so much history as it is reality T.V and shows built upon pure speculation. Last time I checked Ancient Aliens wasn't history, mainly because none of it is real. As the clip explains ancient aliens actually came to Earth to mine gold and according to ancient Inca legend they saw the sky gods appear. Maybe I need to read a dictionary, but since when does legend mean a real occurrence? I was under the assumption that a legend, despite often being perceived as truth, actually wasn't true. The truth is no one can really know for sure whether or not aliens visited humankind in the past until we have some sort of contact with them. Until that day comes programs like Ancient Aliens have no business being on a channel that is supposedly dedicated to history, for the simple reason that it isn't history. This is also why Top Shot, Top Gear (This is coming from a gear head, someone who has seen every episode of the British version Top Gear and who actually enjoys the American version), Monster Quest, Axe Men and Swamp People don't belong on the History Channel.

It is hard to blame the History Channel for their new programming, after all they are a television channel and they need to generate some sort of revenue. To peak interest a show needs to have sort of drama, humans thrive off of drama. No matter what anyone tells you people love drama, as a species we are obsessed with it. This is the reason why reality TV is so popular, it shows drama happening in "real life". The problem with history is that there is no drama in it, mainly because it already happened. There is no suspense in a program detailing how the Constitution was formed because we, the viewer, already knows (hopefully) what happened. So the History Channel changed its programming and instead, cleverly I might add, focused on attracting a large amount of viewers. This means less specials and documentaries about historical events and more of this. This is not because the people at the History Channel have stopped caring about history, but it is a reaction to the changing culture that we live in. The cold, hard truth is that people just don't care that much about history.

There have been numerous studies about Americans apparent apathy for their own history. A New York Times piece last year pointed out some rather alarming statistics. Overall only 20% of fourth graders, 17% of eight graders and 12% were deemed proficient at history. In fact 38% of Americans last year wouldn't be able to pass the U.S. citizenship test. That means almost 4 out of 10 people wouldn't be able to become a citizen in their very own country. All one needs to pass the test is a 60%, that wouldn't even count for a passing grade anywhere else. When 38% of Americans cannot identify the basic workings of our government then this country is in serious trouble. As a nation it should be our duty to educate voters and especially children on how the government actually works (it may not work well, but it does work). Instead this country is producing more and more ignorant Americans each year, which leads to more ignorant voters, which in turn leads to this.

History is so important because it gives us a a detailed account of why our world is the way it is. One cannot fully understand relations between countries, classes or parties without knowing the story behind it all. This makes the History Channel so crucial to our society. Most kids are more apt to sit down and watch a TV show than they are to read a book, so when a channel which is supposed to be about history instead shows crappy reality TV then there is a problem. Kids today, hell every person in this country needs to become better informed about not only our country, but also the world. We need more documentaries, more specials that can help explain the world that we all share. Now in no way shape or form am I suggesting that the History Channel is responsible for our ignorance, its not, but I am saying that they should hold themselves to a higher standard. Now higher standards usually mean less profit, I understand this, but for once I would love to see anyone do the right thing. The world really needs someone to place the greater good over the greater rate of profit. So I beg the History Channel to leave the ratings chasing for the the other stations and instead give the people what they need, an idea of how and why we ended up here.